Sa Iyong Ika-1 Kaarawan, Anak

Gaya ng ibang magulang, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala anak. Lumipas na pala ang isang taon, kaarawan mo na. Isang taon na rin akong tatay dahil sa'yo.

Siyempre, marami ka nang kayang gawin ngayon. Tumayo. Maglakad. Manood ng tv. Paunti-unti mong nakakayang mag-isa. Ilang buwan pa, puwede na kitang iwanan.

Akala mo ba madali? Nasa isip kita kada minuto. Gising ka na kaya? Kumain ka na? Napalitan ba ang basang-basa mong diaper? Sinong umaalalay sa'yong pagtae? Hinahanap mo ba ang taytay?

Higit sa lahat ng kakayahang natutunan mo, ang pagkilala sa akin bilang tatay mo. Marunong ka nang ngumawa kapag umaalis ako, sa pagbalik ko naman, naiiyak ka din dahil nakita mo na ulit ako.

Nagpapasunong kang parang iyon lang ang mahalaga sa mundo.

Napapaiyak naman ako sa tuwing sisilip ka sa bintana't kumakaway sa tuwing aalis ako. Kung bakit kailangan pang magtrabaho ng taytay, mag-aral. Kung maaari ko lang saksihan ang unang 354 araw mo sa mundong ito, pero hindi.

Ginagawa ko ang mga ito, para sa'tin anak. Habang maliit ka pa, habang bubot pa ang iyong pag-unawa sa mga bagay. Sana nga'y pansamantala lamang ito. Pagkat gusto rin kitang makilala, gusto kong makilala mo ang mundo. Gusto kitang ipakilala sa mundo.

Parang kailan lang sabi nga sa kanta, pangarap ka namin ng naynay mo. Hindi ka namin pinlano ngunit dumating ka. Ngayo'y mag-iisang taon ka na sa mundo.

Maligayang kaarawan, anak. Maligayang kaarawan, sa aking pagiging tatay.#

Reflection #2

Mrs. X is a quadriplegic but very cheerful and positive about her recovery. She claims to be a victim of medical malpractice which resulted to her severely diminished capacity to live and the reason why she is away from her family.

I choose her as a subject for my health history project for the simple reason that she is Asian like me. Somehow, I get especially attracted to patients who are not from Canada, or from Canada but belong to minority groups. This is not to say that I discriminate among patients; I just think that minorities typically receive lesser privileges in our society.

She says that for two years, she served as a “guinea pig” for medical interns and student nurses. I asked if she still trusts the same system she believes caused her plight and at present caring for her. “I have no choice,” she says. A recent diagnostic test revealed she has made little improvements, which she credits to the hardworking multi-disciplinary team caring for her.

I realized that because medicine is an imperfect science that causes doctors to commit mistakes, nurses are there to care. Caring, holistic caring in particular should then be fundamental to all nurses. It is not learned in school like medical science, but is natural to every human. Unfortunately, uncaring nurses do exist and they are everywhere.

I have become witness to the humility of the nurses working on my assigned unit. They let their hands become “dirty” and to be “there” for the patients. They hold conversation, laugh along, and talk patients through their struggles while remaining vigilant in their conditions. They support each other as they have known each other for years. That is the kind of environment I want to work in and they are the kind of nurse I want to be.

The nurse was having a pleasant conversation with Mrs. X while flushing her g-tube when I walked into her room to start my project. When he left, I proposed to Mrs. X that when I finish school, I want to become her nurse and show her the same level of care. More than ever, I got excited about this prospect.#